Last week, I was in the mindset of preparing for the surgery on my imperfect foot. The realization is that you can’t truly prepare because you must expect the unexpected. Despite my thoughts on being ready, I was met with additional work on my foot that wasn’t on the menu. My spring ligament sprung a leak and had ruptured. My preparation for how this was going to go was flushed down the toilet. Still some unknowns on how long I will be non-weightbearing. This recovery is a whole lot different.
It isn’t just physical. There is an emotional component that goes along with this. Feeling isolated. Abandoned. Unsafe. Not Competent. Frustrated. Wow, just a list of feelings that ebb and flow. Even surrounded by my family, I can feel lonely. It is the kind of healing that I really need to focus on my mental status or I can go down the rabbit hole. This is an easy does it process.
Yesterday, was hard and today, I’m not feeling so great, but there are still an abundance of gratitude. I am blessed to have a friend make me homemade soup. I was able to enjoy the colorful flowers that another friend sent. Brian sat and held me while I cried because I was feeling all the feels. There is a lot of grace in healing. For me, it is a one moment at a time. This is a marathon not a sprint and I have a lot of work ahead of me.
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