Square Peg ● Round Hole







If I have learned one thing about being a human pogo stick is that time is valuable. And, since I am equal to the sloth at this point, I would like to explain what motivates me. Let me just share that it takes a lot of energy being a human pogo stick. (This non-weight bearing ordeal was brought to you by my ridiculous flat feet and continued to be sponsored by the American Medical Association. Sorry. I am legally bound to give credit to our sponsors for the continued coverage of my peg leg.)

As I was saying, hopping around takes a lot of planning. Will I need crutches or my scooter for the task? Are there multiple activities that need to be completed before I sit back down? Will I forget the additional tasks and sit down only to be reminded that I forgot it thus making me have to get up again? Lots of unknowns. Frankly, if you know me at all, you can be assured that overthinking the process is now a skillset that I am really embracing.

For example, as I am typing, I realize that I need to pee. With that awareness, I am now contemplating how loudly my bladder is talking. Normally, my bladder is soft spoken, but I am noticing with this particular situation, this organ has gotten really bitchy. There are times I am so tired that I wonder if I could forgive myself for simply wetting my pants. Honestly, what happens when I’m home alone, stays with me unless I tell on myself. It’s happened. Not the peeing in my pants part but the telling on myself because It too damn funny not to.

Is it weird that when I ride my scooter, I hear the The Wizard of Oz song for the wicked witch of the west playing? it’s true. I haven’t asked my spouse if he hears it too, but I guess I don’t need to be concerned unless I see flying monkeys. Until then, I will continue to ponder the question, “how important is it?” while evaluating the important tasks that this one-legged wonder needs to complete.