Square Peg ● Round Hole







Look out world….I got my cast off and I am back in my beautiful appendage AKA the boot. I am navigating okay. There might be some grunting as I walk. They did break my heel in order to align my foot so I suppose it is only natural that I grimace. My doctor looked as if he had won the lottery when he looked at my cast free foot. I was scrunching up my face in disgust while he was beaming like the sun. What the fuck is his problem, I wondered. How can anyone be so thrilled at this mangled thing that might be my foot? The jury is out on it. All I see is dried skin that is so abundant, there might be a winter storm warning in effect with all the flakes flying. Speaking of flakes, I am the goof ball that actually says this shit out loud. Good thing he has an excellent sense of humor.

He was giddy because he says that my foot looks amazing. I suppose we have different views on the subject and honestly, beauty is subjective, right? I didn’t want to rain on his parade, so nodded my head and smiled. It’s like when someone asks you if you think their baby is cute. Naturally, you lie and smile even though you think that kid will NEVER grow into that face. The more he talked, the more I understood why his happiness rivaled a kid on Christmas morning as he shared my X-rays and we tested my mobility. My mobility is weeks ahead of what he expected. I’m not kidding when I say I thought he was going to throw a ticker tape parade in my foot’s honor. He was that happy. Good for him. Meanwhile, I am trying not to look at the atrocity that might be my foot.

I have since embraced my amazing foot. We have bonded over our mutual desire to make it beautiful again. My foot has been enjoying being pampered. I am astounded at how well the foot is recovering considering this has been such a struggle, but I am grateful for its success. God helps those that help themselves and since he “forgot” to give me arches, I needed to do something to fix that glitch. Everyone needs a little help.

Fun fact…..our insurance company labeled two of his procedures as cosmetic. Bitch, please. If I were really doing cosmetic surgery, I would get a tummy tuck or face lift. Jesus. Anyway, that’s another blog. I am in the appeal process and am praying for them. They are going to need it.