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A little more than a week ago, there was a buzz circulating around The Stanley Cup. I was intrigued on why the NHL was having their trophy displayed at Target. Seriously. That was what I thought was happening when the news circulated regarding the crowds of people lining up for it. I mean, why wouldn’t I think that because rational humans don’t line up for actual drinking cups, right? At least, that was the naive part of me thinking that society certainly hasn’t hit rock bottom yet. Maybe this is our rock bottom.

Once I found out that the NHL trophy was not on tour, I began to research this magical cup. This 40-ounce vacuum-insulated cup keeps drinks cold for up to 11 hours and even holds ice for up to two days. That doesn’t do anything for me. Plus, the price tag is steep. If I am going to pay $45 for a cup ($200 on some resale sites), I want it to do more than keep my drink cold. Now, I can’t fault the company for their genius marketing. You see, the company intentionally makes it difficult for consumers to find hence the mass invasion when they are in stock. They also have a lifetime warranty. I don’t even have a lifetime warranty.

The insanity reminds me of the Beanie Baby craze where collecting them was cool, but the resale was insane. Personally, unless it produces gold as I drink it or grants me three wishes, I will hang out with my trusty Disney and Western Kentucky University tumblers that hydrates just like any other cup.

Now, I’m probably on a watch list since I have managed to piss off the masses of Stanley cup users. They might be worse than Swifties.