There are those moments when I am searching for the topic for my blog. Sometimes something happens that propels my inspiration and other times, I am at a loss. But, what I know as a writer is that an idea can simply be a small molecule. Something I would miss if I weren’t paying attention. I am writing about marriage. Specifically mine.
I’m at a stage in life where I am very introspective. Reminiscing about my childhood, my parents who are gone, and how my life has just been this incredible experience. Maybe it is because I am watching loss all around me. Spouses. Parents. Children. Lives snuffed out and all we have are the memories. Life is so very fleeting.
Life is built on a foundation of experiences. These experiences, however you describe them, are a gift. Yes, even the toughest moments because things don’t happen to us, they happen for us. It is how you react to them that shapes the rest of your life.
Brian (the man that I love and the lucky bastard that married me three times) and I don’t have the perfect marriage. While some on social media paint the ideal husband/family/life, there is always more to the story. What I am saying is that this imperfect union has blossomed into this incredible partnership. We embraced the surprise of our oldest who was born with Down syndrome. We rode the roller-coaster of his alcoholism.We entered our respective recovery programs to clean up the wreckage left by addiction. We separated. We got back together, but we were still, unpacking the baggage from our former lives. We buried my parents. We cleaned out my childhood home. Our story is full of twists and turns. We almost didn’t survive. There were many years that I loved him, but didn’t like him.
Navigating life with adult children can be tricky. All the time invested with kids and then they grow up. Once that happens, some couples struggle with the shift. Then suddenly you are looking at your partner like they are a stranger. That is not what I am currently experiencing. If anything, we are having more fun now then we did before kids. He is my person. One of my favorites. He is funny, kind, and the best person that I know.
Next week, we will both celebrate twenty-two years of unpacking our luggage by diligently working a spiritual program. It hasn’t been easy, but we are warriors in our right. There is much beauty in imperfect.
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