Square Peg ● Round Hole







I don’t get sick. It isn’t an egotistical statement nor am I bragging. It is a mere fact. Except that fact imploded and by Saturday, I had a full blown case of bronchitis/sinus infection. Nice. Let me tell you the backstory.

On Wednesday, I had a small tickle in the back of my throat. Nothing major but enough to know that I needed to be proactive and since I live in a state where ragweed is queen, I knew getting ahead of it was key. I managed the rest of the week until a barking cough entered the ring. I got on WebMD and quickly diagnosed myself with bronchitis. Then I called my real doctor to see if she agreed with me.

At the front desk, I am greeted by “Linda”. “Have you been exposed to or has someone close to you been diagnosed/exposed to COVID ?” Gee, Linda. The world is a petri dish and I am not walking around society asking “Do you have COVID?”. I am exposed to germs every fucking day. Don’t look at me like I am typhoid Mary. The only part I said with my tender vocal chords were, “I have no idea. I just know the world is a petri dish. I have apparently selected something from that dish that I wish to rid myself of now.

Her eyes bulged a little bit. She then proceeded – in an elevated voice – to tell me that she would get me a mask. No need, Linda. I brought my own. I quickly put it on since Linda looked like those teenagers do right before they get sliced up by a chainsaw. Look lady, I don’t have COVID. It is bronchitis, but feel free to lose your shit. She hurriedly ushers me to the furthest exam room from the front desk. Practically shoves me in the room and shuts the door. Whatever. It got me into a room long before my appointment time. Guess what? They didn’t even do a COVID test. Take that Linda. Oh, and I do have bronchitis. Thanks WebMD.

My Z-pack and some excellent cough medicine hit the spot. Today, I feel much better. I just have a cough that sounds like I have smoked for a hundred years and I am pretty sure my brain has turned to snot. Other than that, I am well on my way to recovery. Just another day in paradise.