Square Peg ● Round Hole







Do you have someone in your life that doesn’t value the meaning of “emergency”? Do you have someone in your life that will simply ignore warning signs? I do. Let me tell you a story.

When Brian and I met, one red flag (among many) was that he was confused over the difference between a Tornado watch and a warning. We grew up in the 70s watching Lost in Space where the “Robot” would commonly say, “Danger, Will Robinson, danger.” I associate danger and warning in the same family. Color me confused when my spouse kept thinking a Tornado watch was the real issue and that a warning means it might happen. It has been a process for him to unlearn it.

Brian’s thought process is unnerving. Now that he is aware of the difference, he is completely unfazed. This means he would rather sleep through it than actually seek a safe place. This was the case yesterday around 5 when we were under a warning and my delightful partner is taking a nap. When I woke him to share the news of mother nature’s bitchy mood, he promptly got up. I thought to myself, praise Jesus, but then he merely came down to the basement to say, “Goodbye” as he was scheduled to meet a friend at Starbucks. What. The. Actual. Fuck. To say I was pissed would be an understatement. Sirens blaring and this very intelligent man is going to get a white chocolate mocha. Let me just say, Karma does exist.

He goes to Starbucks where they are operating as any other day. No shelter seeking. Just a bunch of morons drinking coffee during a weather emergency. After the sirens quieted down, we had another storm roll in with hail. The baristas decided that it was the time to shelter in place, so Brian and his friend along with the patrons went into a restroom. Karma is my spouse in a restroom with strangers during a hail storm.

I don’t know if Brian will ever take a Tornado warning seriously, but I imagine that the memory of the Starbucks bathroom might be enough to change his thought process. I can only hope.