Parenting is an art. It is a dance. It is pivoting as your child becomes an adult. Adult children are more difficult than toddlers, in my opinion. Partly, because they have brains of their own and aren’t interested in my vast wisdom. I am FULL of wisdom. My youngest graduates in May with his Masters and I am beyond proud. He has an incredible work ethic in his graduate assistant job, and is extremely valued by his coworkers. So what is my problem? Well, I want to know what he is doing after graduation. Guess what? It is none of my business. He is an adult who can make decisions for himself. Yikes! I still want to give my input. It is like an addiction.
How does one break an addiction? Well, for me, I admit I have a problem. To combat this, I actively look for jobs that would be suitable, but I don’t share them with him. Baby steps, people. Instead, Brian and I muse over them. We talk about the pros and cons. Then we laugh about it. It is the process of letting go. Practicing the adage of being a mother without mothering. He can call and vent without my input. My typical response to those chats tends to be, “do you want to be hugged, helped, or heard?”. The majority of the time he just wants to be heard. I am perfecting the listening aspect and keeping my mouth shut. If you know me, that is a challenge.
The end game to parenting is seeing your child thrive, but there is a bit of grief as they progress because they don’t need you in the way that they used to. That’s the point, right? Leaving the nest and living a full life.
I don’t have a crystal ball, which would be super helpful when my addiction is alive and well. What I do know is that wherever he lands, he was raised with the knowledge that he is worthy of all the goodness life has to offer. I just need to let him fly.
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