There is no easy way to say goodbye to someone you love. It is met with a lot of reflection and pausing. It requires being in the present and that is a daunting practice when in the clutches of an emotional state.
My aunt is nearing her final exit. It wasn’t long ago that I was helping my mom walk home. There is a spiritual component to being a part of a person transitioning. For me, it is a process of introspection and reflection of the relationship. This particular individual has been a formidable presence in my life. In my early twenties, I would stay the weekend at her and my uncle’s home. It was a safe haven as I was walking through a pretty emotional situation. They were simply another pair of parents who shared their love and wisdom freely.
Dementia is a soulless thief that stole my aunt’s memories, her power of conversation, and most importantly, her spirit. It is devastating to watch this once vibrant human become a prisoner in their own body. The harshness of aging amplifies while loved ones wait for the inevitable.
My aunt is a creative soul who loves animals and painting beautiful scenes. She loves to socialize and honestly, I don’t think she has ever met a stranger. She is a wonderful cheerleader and has been a confidant in the midst of crisis. In the past few weeks, I have visited her where we have engaged in chair Zumba and looked at family photos. Her memories are spotty but I am grateful she recognizes me. While her words are garbled, there are moments of clarity, like when she says, “You’re so funny” or “I love you too”.
Hospice has been called in and yesterday, her alertness was minimal. She didn’t reach to hug me instead, she rested and I held her hand. I thanked her for her presence. I shared memories. I quietly prayed over her. There is nothing more honorable than to walk the people we love home. There is so much to be grateful for in the midst of grief. My aunt has had an incredible life full of love, laughter, family and friends. She will leave us better than we were and I am full of hope that she will finally be at peace.
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