Square Peg ● Round Hole







Every morning I am greeted by two exuberant Basset hounds that are clamoring to go out and do their business, followed by their breakfast, another jaunt outside to do more business, and then finally, their treat.  Then they proceed to sleep most of the day.   That is their idea of changing the world all while having a good time.  They are succeeding as they bring humor and light to my life.   They exude holiday cheer all year long.

For me, my goal is to get out of bed with an attitude of gratitude without tripping over my excited Basset hounds.   As I wipe the sleep from my bleary eyes, I am ready to greet the day.  Yes, I am one of those annoying morning people that seems to be in a sad minority.  Just to be clear, I am more annoyingly cheerful after I have had my coffee.    My feeling is that if one sleeps past eight, the best part of the day is gone.   So shouldn’t I feel especially sparkly this time of the year?  Well, I don’t.

While the holiday season (I say holiday to include every celebrations and not to diminish Christmas) is in full swing, I am not.   Maybe it is the replay of conflicts in the world, the media influenced fear of terrorism, or simply that it is flipping 60 degrees outside.  This year,  I am in the mood to skip this festive holiday.  No, I am not Scrooge or the Grinch, I am simply non committal.

Everything feels like an obligation.   When did the holidays become so hard?    Could it be the unrealistic expectations that we put on ourselves?   Could it be that we center everything around the “hottest” item to be purchased only for it to lose its luster after a few days?    Possibly.   For me, I think it is the process of grieving the holidays of the past.   Small kids meant magic and now that the kids are older, the sparks have fizzled.   I am not sad, just a little confused.

As I constantly preach, there is always a solution hidden in every problem.   This Christmas I am allowing myself to just be.  With the boys and Brian venturing off to Florida early Christmas morning, I get to decide how the holiday will look.  With seven days of silence, I will have a lot of time to evaluate, process, and rebuild the holiday of my choosing.     Finding the joy in the season is simply a shift in my attitude and starting new traditions to fill the gaping hole of Christmas past.   My holiday cheer is wrapped up in mindless litigation, but I am a firm believer that this too shall pass.