We have all been in the mindset that when difficult situations arise, we question “why me?”.   I certainly have been there.  Through the birth of a child with Down syndrome to dealing with a family member and their struggle with alcoholism…….I have uttered those words hundreds of times.   Isn’t it interesting how we can instantly step into the shoes of the victim?

With all the struggles and obstacles that I have hurdled, the interesting shift in my perception, actually began when I entered the rooms of Alanon.     (Yes, it is an anonymous program, but the only anonymity that I am breaking is my own.)    For the first few years, I blanketed myself in martyrdom and felt the immense weight of the world bearing down on me.    The more I went, the worse I felt because I was in the belief that other people were the cause of my unhappiness.     Once I began to realize that all the actions, words, etc that others projected were never about me, I learned that I am the designer for my emotional well-being.

After being in the program almost fourteen years, I am grateful for the disease of alcoholism, actually I am grateful for every single situation that has caused me pain.   I know that might sound insane,  but my outlook on life keeps getting better and better because of my willingness to be thankful instead of angry.  Sometimes it is a gradual process getting to the gratuitous portion, but I do get there eventually.   The combination of things that I have experienced could create a bottomless, black hole, IF I allowed it.    My circumstances are never a punishment, but rather an opportunity to learn something about me.

That quirky question of “why me?” does float into my thoughts every now and then, but then I realize how much I have grown when the next thought emerges….”why not me?”.   It is the defining moment when I am comfortable enough within myself to accept those difficult, emotional moments regardless of liking it or not.