When Brian and I married twenty-five years ago, we opted for a seven minute ceremony at the country club where the reception would be held. Quick, easy, and very convenient. Sometimes a McDonald’s drive-thru takes longer than our wedding lasted. Raised Catholic, we weren’t interested in jumping through hoops to get to the altar. I mean there is a lot of counseling from individuals who have never been married which sounds ridiculous. So, when we had the boys, we opted to raise them Catholic never letting on that our marriage wasn’t blessed by a priest.
When the knowledge of our non-sanctioned marriage came to light – long story, but it was while we were on a pilgrimage with our priest to Italy and Brian opened his mouth – it was offered that we could still rectify that situation. Time passed and then when we decided to go on another pilgrimage with our priest, one of my friends suggested taking the Catholic plunge while in Europe.
When we started the process, I just thought that we would simply show up and have a vow exchanging ceremony. I mean, seriously, this isn’t brain surgery, but the Catholics like to make everything more complex. Yesterday, we had to answer some questions independently of each other. I couldn’t imagine what they would be asking, but I wasn’t even prepared for the questions that were presented. Keep in mind these are universal: 1. Is this your sibling? 2. Is this your cousin? 3. Is there anyway that you are related? 4. If your spouse has been married before, did you cause the death of the previous spouse? 5. Are you being coerced into marrying? 6. Are you open to having children? (Which is only funny because, well, I have no uterus.) 7. Are you being held hostage? 8. Have you ever suffered from a mental illness? And the list goes on……
I had to laugh. I mean, seriously. Oh, and we had to have people go in and talk to our formations director to vouch for us. With that being said, we are going to officially make our marriage “legal” in the eyes of the church since we have been living in sin for over twenty-five years. The location is Santiago de Compostela, Spain in a small chapel surrounded by a lush landscape. This will probably rank higher than our first go around which can only be described as a five-star shit show with lots of drama. I mean, you seriously can’t make this stuff up, so it does provide good entertainment when reminiscing. Oh, and the best is that I will still be a blushing bride due to my hot flashes.