Sometimes, there is a flash of “where do I fit in” that spills into the crevices of my mind. Sometimes it centers around people and other times it is simply where I am residing in my life. I assume that most people think at 56-years-old, I would have my shit together. Do we ever truly have our shit together? No. We pivot. We transition. We pivot, again.
I laugh because my 24-year-old thinks that the job you get out of college is the final destination instead of the reality that life is a series of steps to get to the destination. In my story, I spent 10 years in corporate America loving my job but understanding that I was losing money with the price of daycare. I pivoted. I transitioned to a stay-at-home mom which was what was best for the whole.
Once the boys were both in school, I tried my hand as a preschool teacher. It was fun, but then an opportunity came up to take over a feature piece in our local newspaper. I transitioned to writing full-time while meeting interesting people who helped cultivate a wonderful experience. Then I got fired. I have never been fired before, so that was something I got to walk through. Lots of grief with that one because I really loved that job.
The good news was that several local magazines picked me up and I was able to expand my writing to more than just fluff. It gave me a sense of accomplishment to be able to write on various subjects. A couple years later, I pivoted once again as those opportunities dried up.
That empty space allowed me to focus on my books. Two books that I managed to write during COVID and caring for my mother. Both of those have passed and now I am again in a space where I am figuring out what is next. Yes, I have my Kindle Vella series out which is fun to create. Yes, I have this blog that allows me to be completely transparent to my audience. But, I am still living in the question. I hope that doesn’t stop. I hope that even while ageing, I continue to be in a state of wonder. I want to do something else to partner with my writing, but I don’t know what that looks like yet. All I am saying is that as long as I am open-minded, the possibilities are endless. What’s next? I don’t know, but I can’t wait to find out.
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