I am a nice person. No…really, I am. I know that sometimes I come off like a bitchy, menopausal woman with an aversion to other people. The exception, of course, are those who are in my tribe. I lean towards being a pleasant human up until other homo sapiens completely undermine my efforts.
While driving my car, I no longer give the finger when someone is a complete and utter asshole. You just never know how someone will react, so I adopted a safer option. Instead, I honk my horn as if I were in some sort of parade. Long and loud. Yesterday, I did it to the genius who thought the stop sign was a mere suggestion. I was stopped and ready to proceed, when he barreled through as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
I wish I could honk my horn when I am held hostage in a group text or email. Yesterday, I received an email from our club sharing the details of our golf course and all the efforts made to keep it lush and pristine. I don’t really care, but some people apparently were thrilled and kept hitting “reply all”. I now have thirty new emails this morning thanking the original sender. For the love of Jesus don’t hit reply all.
Group text are equally as annoying. I am fine with the occasional ones that are relevant to me. But, then those sneaky individuals who start using the same group for complete nonsense. Once I was in a meeting and came out to twenty-five new texts with various exchanges that ranged from their weekend plans to various GIFs. None of information was necessary for me to continue my day. I wish there was a way to send a reply that was simply a loud horn honking.
Oh, and lastly, those people who are still posting about the Facebook algorithm. Please STOP. I no longer simply post on their comments that it is a scam, but instead paste the link to the Snopes article. It is the most subtle and pleasant way I can share the information without being a full blown bitch. Where is a loud horn when you need it? Maybe I just need one of those clown horns that I can take wherever I go. It would definitely be effective in keeping certain individuals at bay. Rant over. Now go enjoy your day while I sprinkle my delightful, sarcastic ray of sunshine to the rest of humanity.
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