Square Peg ● Round Hole

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Hello. Me again. I have been in the clutches of a corrective sinus procedure where they packed my nose with tampons and taped a maxi pad to my face to help control the bleeding. Okay, it wasn’t tampons or maxi pads but it certainly looked the part.

After finally getting clearance from my vascular surgeon assuring me that I would not stroke out on the table, I ventured into some random surgery center. Once I arrived, they swooped in to shower me with a stylish gown (It was so stiff from the extra starch, it could have stood up by itself) and some plush socks with tread just in case I made a run for it. With all the amenities, I was eager to get my happy juice so I could feel euphoric about this fashion statement that I was making.

The anesthesiologist was a robot. No, I can’t prove it, but he never cracked a smile and he had this spiel that reminded me of a flight attendant. When he finished his very detailed speech, he asked if I had any questions. I did have a question. I wanted to ask if he ever smiled, but instead asked when I would get my happy juice. Truly. The real amenity are the drugs.

Once I was served my cocktail of happiness, I was wheeled into the OR where I chatted it up with no one in particular. I was just overly talkative. At that point, a mask came over my face which was their subtle sign that they were done listening to me. I bet Brian wishes he had that ability. Anyway, the next thing I know, I am waking up to a recovery nurse and my spouse. I am extra humorous after anesthesia. I mean, I think I am hilarious, but it was the laughter from nurse that affirmed it. Actually, I think she was amused by both of us.

Upon arriving home, I took a gander at myself in the mirror. Wow. Just wow. With the stylish gown and socks, you would think my nose dressing would be chic. I assure you, it was not. It looked like a maxi pad hammock. For two days, I changed out the dressing waiting for the moment that I could lose the decorative accessory.

By Thursday, I was maxi pad free and hoping that my taste buds along with my ability to breath through my nose would eventually return. Each day is more and more promising. Sure, I am congested with a sinus headache, but I can smell and taste again. On Wednesday, I get a “spa” treatment from the ENT where they will wash out my nasal passages. Sounds relaxing, right? Brian is holding on to the hope that after I heal, I won’t snore. He’s adorable. I just want to be relieved of chromic sinus issues. Sure, no snoring would be great, but honestly, my snoring doesn’t bother me. (Insert giggle.)

Stay Tuned….Road trip after sinus surgery and what I really think about my visit to Buc-ee’s.