While other adults in their 50s are close to or are currently living the life of an empty nester, I am still driving a twenty-nine year old with Down syndrome back and forth to various activities, appointments, well, everything. Please don’t think I am complaining. Alright. I am complaining a bit. Don’t want you all to classify me as a saint. I didn’t expect to be a personal Uber driver at this point, but here we are.
With all that aside, I have settled into softball practice duty where I drive Bailey, and sit in a parking lot to wait for him. Last night was the temperature of the center of the sun. While Bailey gathered his equipment, I pondered whether I was going to be able to sit in my car for over an hour with the motor off and windows down. My body thermometer has aged just like the rest of me. It is likely up for a recall, but I just don’t have time for that shit. They just don’t make them like they used to. Yes, I just compared my body to a used car.
I leave the car on and ask the environmental gods to forgive me. It’s just that alleviating my ability to sweat in places no one should sweat seems more important than saving the climate. Forgive me for ignoring the impact of my carbon footprint. You can lecture me later when I stop sweating. Anyway, I am enjoying my book and the quiet. The cool breeze from my air conditioning gave me false ideas. Maybe I will be comfortable with the air off and windows down. After all, I am parked under a tree and I bet there might be a slight breeze since the sun was setting. My ideas are assholes.
I turned off my car, rolled down the windows, and settled in with my book. Pleased with my contribution to the environment, I judged all the other parents around me with their cars still running. Five minutes later, I am starting to get uncomfortable, so I turn on my car again because I might be a bit soft when it comes to my comfort. I don’t think I would be a good contestant on Survivor.
Grateful for the coolness from the air conditioned seats and the air blowing on my face, I go back to my reading. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something flitting around me. Ugh. See this is what I get for trying to be a steward of the environment. A damn mosquito apparently wanted to share my A/C with me. In true Allison form, I actively swatted at it. This little fucker was worse than Houdini. Every time I thought I had either killed him or gotten him out the window, he would reappear. Now, imagine what it looks like from an outsiders standpoint. Some weird lady is waving her hands around while actively screaming to “get the fuck away from me”. I suppose it would appear as if I were having seizure, a stroke, or quite possibly, a mental breakdown. Finally, I managed to help him transitioned to the world beyond. Now I have contributed to the demise of the environment while murdering one of God’s creatures. Yep, I am definitely up for sainthood.
Like a good Catholic, I will be saying the “Hail, Mary” two hundred times as penance. Bailey finished with practice and then proceeded to ask if I watched him. I responded with “you did a great job”. No, Bailey I didn’t watch you because I was battling a mosquito and trying not to have heatstroke while damaging the climate. I was busy.
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