If you are a frequent reader of my blog, you know that I am selective in my social engagements. The outing must woo me. It must include good food, excellent company, and a promised bedtime by 10. Sure, I try to be flexible, but those are the criteria of my social life. Anyway, when one of my soul sisters asked if I wanted to see the Violent Femmes (an 80s grunge bad), I said YES! Why? Because I really liked them when I used to love to go out at night.
On the day of the concert, I prepped.
Earplugs. Check.
Nap. Check.
Motrin (taken prior). Check.
We went to dinner at a restaurant that resided across the street from the venue. The evening was going well. Dinner was delicious and the company was stellar. As we were leaving, I was so animated in my conversation, that I missed a step leading out of the restaurant and promptly fell on my left knee. If someone were watching, it probably appeared that I threw myself out of the restaurant. I mean the service was slow, and I had a direct view of some lady wearing a dress that tied up the sides with the appearance that someone wasn’t wearing underwear. So yeah, maybe I just had enough and chucked myself forward. Honestly, I don’t know what the fuck my problem is.
My lovely soul sisters were very concerned. Me? I was both mortified and annoyed at myself. Seriously, I just recovered from foot surgery. I am FINALLY enjoying life pain free, why the fuck do I need a meeting with concrete? I dust myself off and realize that I have no pain. Grateful, that I didn’t harm myself, I waived off my concerned friends as they asked if I wanted to leave. I didn’t take a nap and bring ear plugs to turn around and go home.
We get to the venue and I excuse myself to go to the restroom. Upon further examination, my knee is the size of a cantaloupe with no pain. Well, shit! I quickly go on WebMD because, why not? Someday I will get a diagnosis correct. There are so many things that could be wrong, so I pocket my phone and head out to meet my friends. Fortunately, they have Vodka for me which is a welcome sight and I inform them that my knee is very swollen. They feel it and their eyes bulge. I reiterate that I am good to go and grateful that the pants I was wearing were loose.
Violent Femmes take the stage and start with their second album which was not my favorite. It’s like they found a moral compass which didn’t help me take my mind off my knee. Fortunately, they came back after a short break to play their first album which had more pep and less Jesus. (I love Jesus, but I didn’t sign up for a revival). Anyway, we left a little bit before it ended and by then the swelling was creeping closer to my quad. I told them I was going down the ramp so I could hold on to the rail since the swelling made my knee stiff. The security guard heard me and chuckled, so I assume she thought I was drunk. Nope. Just a bit of a klutz.
We say our goodbyes and I assure that I am alright. I got home and showed Brian who just shook his head. I iced and elevated which helped the swelling. WebMD says that it is a severe contusion to the knee cap, so I treated it as such. Now, the swelling is almost gone and I have a lingering rainbow bruise that covers my entire knee cap. This is just one example of the risk of socializing with me. I told them that the next time we go out, I will try not to throw myself onto concrete sidewalks.
Sweet. Baby. Jesus.
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