It is story time. Writing seems to have taken a backseat to life. Tell us more, Allison, you say. Okay, I will. You might want to take a seat, grab a drink, and settle in for an interesting tale.
On a regular Sunday morning, Bailey comes to greet me as he always does. I am still on shift as a crisis counselor, but didn’t have a call at that time. We are making casual conversation regarding what he plans on eating for lunch, when he lifts his shirt and says, “Look! I am a creature”. My eyes bulged at the sight before me. Do you remember that movie “Alien” and the scene where that very alien came out of Sigourney Weaver’s stomach? Well, his stomach looked similar. A bulge the size of a grapefruit saluted me and my eyes were as big as saucers. I might have screamed, “What in the hell is that?” but I am not sure. I might have blacked out for a second. Brian immediately comes in surveying the horror before us. His eyes grew huge.
“ER?” he asked me.
“ER.” I said.
I finish my shift while Brian takes Bailey to the ER. The doctor is baffled at his high pain tolerance as anyone would be doubled over in agonizing pain. Not Bailey. Nope. He is not remotely phased by this very large growth protruding from his belly. Hours pass. Finally, they came back and told Brian it is a hernia which needs to be removed immediately. Meanwhile, Bailey is telling everyone he is pregnant. I can’t make this shit up. He really does provide me with writing gold.
I head over to see him before he is wheeled into surgery. It is now 5:30 on a Sunday night and his main concern is what can he eat afterwards. Sweet, Baby, Jesus.
We head to the waiting room. A room that I could go the rest of my life not visiting. I started 2025 sitting there when Brian had his heart attack and again in April when my father-in-law had emergency surgery for a broken hip. I am so over hospitals, yet here we were.
Around 8:30 that evening, he was wheeled in his room as if nothing had happened. Ate his baked potato like a champ and proceeded to do a YouTube video for his subscribers. (Fun fact….the next day he didn’t remember doing that video. LOL). Bailey requested Brian for his overnight companion, so I happily left to go home.
I came back the next morning with Starbucks to be greeted by two of my favorite humans eating breakfast that Brian got in the cafeteria. We swapped as Brian wanted to go shower and nap. I hung out waiting for the doctor. When I say “waiting”, I mean it. He never came in but called the nurse to relay his discharge instruction and that happened at 2:45 that afternoon. Awesome.
Anyway, we get discharged with his drain intact and a lovely, long incision. I did go to nursing school, but dropped out after a semester when I realized that it was too much math and science for my brain. I also don’t enjoy whiny, sick people. But, apparently, God has a sense of humor in this instance. My beautiful friends, who are all in the medical field, volunteered to help if I should need it, but I rose to the occasion and on Monday the drain was removed. Praise, Jesus!
He will have his post-op visit tomorrow and I am confident that he will be cleared to return to work. It has been a journey and Bailey continues to keep us on our toes. I suppose we wouldn’t have it any other way.
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