In the fifty-nine years I have been roaming the planet, I am finally cognizant over what is worth my time. Relationships are a natural part of the human experience. We all have varying degrees. There are long-term friendships. There are those that serve a purpose for a season. There are some that come in as a blip. They are all learning opportunities IF you are open to it.
Recently, I have resided in a place of peace about certain relationships. Peace that I no longer feel the need to put effort into people who don’t prioritize me. I no longer chase. I love people where they are, but I know that sometimes people’s priorities change. That’s okay. I am grateful for the lessons I get to learn along the way.
I had contact with someone who I haven’t heard from in over two years. They reached out to deliver some difficult news and I remember thinking as I looked at the caller ID, that someone must be ill or dead, because what else could it be? Sure, they could be randomly wanting to connect, but I know better. I did not answer. It wasn’t out of malice or lack of curiosity of what was the purpose for the call, but more of honoring the space that I was in which happened to be a girl’s trip.
I listened to the message and it was exactly what I thought. Their family member was extremely ill and she wanted me to know. She wanted me to call her as soon as possible. I paused as I listened to the message. What should I do? Old me would have dived right in. I would have asked how I could help. I would have sacrificed this sacred time with my friend because of my history with this individual. Instead, I texted her and relayed how sorry I was to hear that. I shared that I was out of town and would contact her in a few days. In other words, I chose me. I chose the present moment.
When I got home, I texted this person and asked when would be a good time to connect. Her response was that she was busy and would get back to me. That was three weeks ago. How do I feel? I feel peace. I have no regrets about the relationship with the person calling or her family member. I know that I have done everything I can with both relationships. I am praying for them and sending love their way, but I do not feel an obligation to do anything more.
My relationships today are full. They are with people who prioritize me and vice-versa. I am grateful for all the opportunities that I have to learn and grow. I still love the people who are no longer in my life. I still think about them and pray for them, My first priority, always, is to do what is best for me. I think we need to normalize this because some might label me as selfish, but I see myself as showing up for me.
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