I think it is human nature to want to be included. To be considered. To be a priority. If you find yourself in this type of situation where none of those things occur, do you continue to force that relationship?
Sometimes, I have to meet people where they are and drop the expectations because my perceptions can be an unreliable source. It might take a couple hammers to the head before I embrace the notion that someone or something no longer works for me. I am not that powerful to make someone like me, see me, or understand me. I used to be the queen of making excuses for someone’s behavior but today instead of dismissing the person or situation,I sit with it. I swim in it. I meditate on it. Finally, I pray for clarity.
Fun fact…..I stopped going to the hardware store for a loaf of bread. I stopped trying to please or gain affirmation from those who are not capable of reciprocal acts. Relationships involve two people and if I am the only one participating, I think that the writing is on the wall. In other words, move on.
Does it hurt? Yes, because at one time that person or situation was important. You valued it. I find a great deal of comfort in knowing that I have choices of who I bring into my life. I surround myself with the best people and I allow myself to grief those relationships that didn’t survive the cut.
Gosh, I wish I knew this shit in my twenties. It would have saved me a lot of anger, resentment, and down right bitterness. However, today I am firmly planted in the notion that I deserve better and I honor myself by only surrounding myself with the best people. The others are simply in my rear-view mirror. I don’t linger on them, but I do extend gratitude for their part in helping me see the truth. Find your worth and you will find your tribe.
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