A few months ago, we were at the Verizon store replacing our phones. While we were there, the salesperson indicated that we were eligible for a free gift. The choices were VR googles or a tablet. Being the sweetheart that he is, he asked me what I would prefer. See, he is thoughtful. Neither was anything I needed or wanted, so I deferred to him. He chose the VR googles which was not surprising.
The googles were delivered a few days ago, and Brian’s enthusiasm rivaled a child on Christmas morning. In typical childlike fashion, he decided to dive right in without reading the instructions. Here is the verbiage that flowed from my spouse’s lips as he tried to figure out how to use them:
“There is some kid trying to talk to me. I don’t want some motherfucker talking to me”
“Now the kid is shooting at me. How the fuck do I get out of this? I don’t know where the fuck I am.”
Meanwhile, I am in our bedroom laughing so hard, I may have peed a little. Keep in mind, he isn’t talking to me. He is having a running commentary with himself. Maybe reading the directions would help him,but alas, Brian loves to make things more difficult.
When I went into the TV room to ask him how it was going, knowing full well, the answer, he screams, “I can’t see down that far. Can you see it?” Apparently, he has lost all sense of reality since he thinks I can see stuff too. The best is trying to have a conversation and he abruptly informs me that he can’t talk because he has to get the spiders off of him. Not only is the running commentary entertaining in itself, the flailing arms add another layer to this source of comedy. He looks ridiculous.
On Monday, after playing with his new toy for a solid day and a half, he texted me to share that his right arm is hurting. I was not surprised since he had so many spiders to deal with and a strange kid shooting at him. Sweet. Baby. Jesus.
Welcome to the Jones Asylum where reality is a thing of the past.
Recent Comments