“Are you ready?, I ask as I open the door to his room. I assume he, my youngest child, is ready to leave for school. My assumption is based on the brushing of one’s teeth and cleaning up his breakfast. It is 7:23, so I draw the conclusion that we can load up and head out, since that is what we normally do. When I open the door, he is sitting on his bed reading the sports and acting as if this were a school holiday. In my brain, I have two speeds……..manic and asleep. Sometimes, you might get lucky if the list running through my head has been completed allowing me to proceed at a slower pace. Today, I am manic as I have to drop him off, run to Kroger, come home and get Bailey going, and get to a 9 am meeting.
Normally, I shake it off, if he is running behind. Normally, I can firmly reiterate the urgency of him getting ready. However, today was not normal. I was past annoyed. In fact, I asked Brian if he could take him, so I could go to Kroger. Even though it was out of his way, he agreed and I promptly picked up my purse to leave. Brian, in his helpful and very clueless way, proceeds to say, “By the way, the cats are out of food”. Gee, I had no idea. The fact that I feed the cats everyday would certainly give me a bird’s-eye view of them lacking food. “Thanks Captain Obvious” which stayed in my head and didn’t proceed out of my mouth. Progress friends..
As I made my way to Kroger, still cloaked in annoyance, several thoughts entered my brain…..why is going to Kroger this important that I spewed irritation throughout my house and am I going to spread my “cheer” to everyone today or am I going to take a breath and renew the day?
Sometimes, the way to peace is by traveling the road of irritation. I realize that I am part of the problem. I realize that I eagerly assume the role of victim and martyr. These are all very real awarenesses that allow me to get to a more realistic place. That place were I need to humble myself and make amends to my unsuspecting teenager while also asking for what I need. In this case, for him to be aware of how him running late affects me. That my time is just as important. However, in the future, I hope to be able to say these things to him and others without looking like a crazed lunatic. Progress not perfection.
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